How to spot romance scams
Romance scams are one of the most emotionally manipulative and financially damaging types of fraud in Australia and the United States. In 2024 alone, Australians lost over $40 million to dating scams. In the US, the figure topped $1.3 billion, according to the FBI.
These scams often begin innocently: a charming message on a dating app, a friendly DM on Instagram, or a thoughtful email. But behind the profile is a scammer trained in emotional manipulation, skilled at gaining trust, and ready to exploit affection for money.
This guide will teach you how to spot the red flags early, understand how romance scams work, and most importantly, how to protect yourself or a loved one. Whether you’re single, dating, or helping a vulnerable friend, knowing these signs could stop a scam before it starts.
What Is a Romance Scam?
A romance scam is when a fraudster pretends to form a romantic connection with someone, usually online, to exploit their emotions for money, gifts, or personal data.
These scammers often operate from overseas, using fake photos and identities to build trust. They’ll create elaborate stories, send affectionate messages, and promise future meetings all to manipulate victims into sending money or sensitive information.
Romance scams are not just financial crimes they’re deeply emotional betrayals. Victims may experience shame, grief, and trauma even after discovering the truth.
Top Warning Signs of a Romance Scam
Be on the lookout for these common red flags:
- They avoid video calls or in-person meetings: Scammers often claim they’re overseas for work, military duty, or emergencies.
- They fall in love quickly: Fast declarations of love or calling you their soulmate early on is a manipulation tactic.
- They invent emotional stories: Fake tragedies or illnesses are used to gain sympathy and money.
- They ask for money or crypto: Even if the amount seems small, any request for financial help is a major red flag.
- They push you to move platforms: Suggesting to switch to WhatsApp, Telegram, or email helps them avoid platform moderation.
- They use stolen photos: Reverse image search tools can often expose fake identities.
How Romance Scams Actually Work
Romance scams typically unfold in stages:
- The Hook: You’re contacted via a dating app, Facebook, Instagram, or even a LinkedIn message.
- The Grooming Phase: They chat often, ask personal questions, and make you feel seen and valued.
- Emotional Bonding: They tell you you’re the only one who understands them. They build dependence and trust.
- Crisis Emerges: Suddenly, they need your help with an emergency surgery, a flight ticket, lost luggage, or a business deal gone wrong.
- Payment Request: You’re asked to send money through crypto, PayID, wire transfer, gift cards, or prepaid debit cards.
- Threats or Guilt: If you hesitate, they may guilt you or threaten to disappear.
Real Cases
In Australia, Scamwatch reported 3,516 romance scam complaints in 2024, totalling over $40 million in losses. Many involved fake crypto investment schemes layered into the romance story.
In the United States, the FBI’s IC3 received over 19,000 complaints in 2024 tied to romance scams, many using platforms like Match.com, Facebook Dating, and Instagram DMs. Seniors, divorcees, and LGBTQ+ users are often targeted.
Example: In Melbourne, a 62-year-old woman lost $180,000 after believing her “online fiancé” needed help recovering gold bars from customs. She only learned it was a scam when her son ran a reverse image search and found dozens of victims had been contacted by the same fake persona.
U.S. Army Romance Scam
In 2024, a 59-year-old woman in Texas was scammed out of over $300,000 after forming an online relationship with someone claiming to be a deployed U.S. Army general. Over months, the scammer convinced her he was retiring and needed funds to ship his belongings and pay for legal documents.
Her daughter contacted CypherGuard after spotting warning signs. We discovered:
- The photos were stolen from a real military officer
- The scam IPs traced to a West African fraud ring
- Spoofed military email headers were used
We worked with the FBI, flagged her crypto exchange, and helped build a case. The scammer was never able to contact her again.
How to Protect Yourself from Romance Scams
The best way to stay safe is to be proactive and skeptical when forming relationships online:
- Slow down: Genuine relationships take time. Be wary if someone moves too fast emotionally.
- Never send money to someone you haven’t met: No matter the reason.
- Reverse image search their photos: Use Google Images or TinEye to check if the pictures appear elsewhere.
- Talk to a trusted friend: If you’re unsure, share details with someone outside the relationship.
- Keep your accounts private: Avoid oversharing personal info, especially financial or family details.
- Don’t click suspicious links or files: Scammers may use malware to steal passwords or financial info.
What to Do If You’ve Been Scammed
If you suspect you’ve fallen for a romance scam, act quickly:
- Stop all communication: Block the scammer across all platforms.
- Gather and save all evidence: Screenshots, emails, chat logs, payment receipts.
- Contact your bank or crypto exchange: Some transfers can be flagged or reversed if caught early.
- Report the scam:
- Australia: Scamwatch, ReportCyber, or the eSafety Commissioner
- United States: FBI IC3 (ic3.gov), FTC (reportfraud.ftc.gov)
- Get emotional support: Romance scam victims often feel shame or heartbreak. Speak to someone you trust or contact a professional.
How Cypher Guard Helps Romance Scam Victims
CypherGuard is more than a reporting tool we are your cyber intelligence partner.
When you reach out to us, we:
- Trace digital footprints of the scammer across platforms
- Analyse transactions through blockchain forensics
- Identify fake personas linked to known fraud networks
- Issue takedown requests with supporting metadata
- Help prepare reports for law enforcement or dispute claims
Acting fast gives us the best chance of locating your funds or helping stop the scammer before they move on to the next victim.
Stay Smart, Stay Safe
Romance scams prey on our deepest human emotions: love, trust, and hope. They can happen to anyone, no matter your background, age, or intelligence.
But the more you know, the better protected you are:
- Be cautious with online relationships
- Trust your gut when something feels off
- Never send money to someone you’ve never met
- Ask for help early
And if something does go wrong, remember, you are not alone. CypherGuard is here to help with digital forensics, scam investigation, and real-world support.
Don’t wait until it’s too late. Reach out today and let us help you protect your heart and your finances.
FAQ:
What if I sent intimate photos?
Don’t panic. We help victims deal with image-based abuse and can assist with takedown requests and legal options.
Are romance scams always about money?
Not always. Some scammers want access to bank accounts, ID, or social media for identity theft or money laundering.
Can I get my money back?
It depends on how and where it was sent. If crypto or international wires were involved, resolving is harder but not impossible with quick action.